I am pregnant – and my boyfriend doesn’t want me

Q: I have been dating my guy for three years. I accidentally got pregnant and when I told him he said I should not worry.

Then he started keeping some distance. When I told his mother about it, he accused me of interfering with his family relationships.

He has since disappeared and refused to talk to me. I later found out that he has moved on with another girl who is also pregnant. I am so stressed.

I am thinking of having an abortion, but he insists that he will be responsible for my baby. I love him and I blame myself to some extent.

A:I empathise with you, but please know that healing and moving on will only be made easier when you accept that your boyfriend has moved on.

This will force you to focus on your life and that of the baby. As much as you claim that you still love him, be aware that you are in an unhealthy relationship and the more you hang on to it, the more you will get hurt.

He might even take advantage of your uncertainty to continue using you. Also consider that his responsibilities to his child do not necessarily include being your husband.

 Don’t blame yourself

The most important thing is to know that although he has betrayed you, it is not worth thinking about. You should not also blame yourself for what happened; the future could be brighter than the past.

Regarding abortion, remember that the baby is innocent and has a right to live. With this in mind, look for a way of empowering yourself in order to cater for your child’s upkeep.

Additionally, don’t hate the fact that you will be a single mother. There are others who have gone through the same situation and made it.

You will eventually find the right man who will love you as you are, and your child as well. Spend time with trusted friends and family who will be helpful in your situation. I wish you success.