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Men must treat plus size women with respect

Wednesday January 17 2018

When Simon “dumped” me for a smaller girl, I interpreted it to mean I was less desirable.

When Simon “dumped” me for a smaller girl, I interpreted it to mean I was less desirable. PHOTO | COURTESY

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The first time I got my heart broken I was twelve years old. He was 14. We used to go to the same church.

He would walk me home, hug me shyly at the gate then head to his home a kilometre away.

In excitement, I would skip excitedly into the house. He was such a charming and handsome young man. Unfortunately, my joy was short-lived.

Simon decided to “break up” with me during the December holiday just before he joined high school. In a short note, he wrote how we were no longer compatible.

A week later, I learnt from reliable sources that he was in a relationship with someone else. When I saw them together, I was crushed. It was obvious why he had left me. I found out much later that Simon was getting teased for dating a fat girl.

I grew up a chubby child; if placed on top of a hill I probably would have rolled downhill like a ball. I was constantly told how adorable my round cheeks were but when I turned 13, cuteness changed to fat.

When Simon “dumped” me for a smaller girl, I interpreted it to mean I was less desirable. Once in a while, I would forget about my weight issue but the instant a boy began to get too friendly, I would withdraw.

As I grew older, I learnt that men are confused when it comes to talking about women’s weight. I once read about a man who would buy his girlfriend smaller sized clothes to hint that she should lose weight.

The spineless ones have been known to cheat and often overheard whining about how “she has really let herself go after birthing twins two months ago.” Then there are the ones who bury their heads in the sand.

Conversations around matters health and fitness should not be awkward especially when two people truly love each other. That said, I would caution men to ensure they have the best intentions when they bring up the issue.

A man needs to find out if his woman is unhappy about her current physical state. If yes, do not rub it in. Be keen to find out if she is considering weight loss.

Support her dietary changes by buying her fruits and vegetables. Signup with her for gym sessions, it will do you some good too.

If she slips, inspire her to get back on track. Be her cheerleader. I was recently gifted with dumbbells after I mentioned that I needed to tone my arms. They were received with much appreciation.

Is she happy with her generous curves and does she seem to enjoy everyday activities? Hop on to that happiness bandwagon too. If her size is not your cup of tea then hit the road. Sticking around will only make you cynical out and destroy her self-esteem.

If you wish to have a fit-lifestyle conversation with your special lady, it is important to note that women always want to feel loved, cared for and desired.