When killer cancer comes knocking

One day you wake up to find a tiny lump in your breast.

A few weeks go by and the lump is still there but it now feels slightly bigger. It is time to make an appointment with the doctor.

We know what a lump signals, the dreaded C-word: cancer.

But at the age of 19 you don’t quite comprehend the gravity of cancer.

BREAST CANCER

After examining you, the doctor appears to suggest that you are far too young to have breast cancer.

Still, you are booked in for an ultrasound and a biopsy.

The doctor explains they will insert a long needle into your breast to get a sample from the lump for testing.

You wonder how painful this will be, and the doctor is quick to reassure you it will be painless because they will administer local anaesthetic.

TEST RESULTS

The biopsy begins and it feels like holes are being punched into your body.

The doctor repeats this three times to get different samples. The whole exercise leaves you feeling bruised.

Days later you go for your results. The doctor comes out of the consultation room and calls out your name. It is time.

The consultant explains they had a multidisciplinary meeting to discuss your lump.

At this moment, fear and the seriousness of the situation sinks in, only for the doctor to reiterate it is because you are far too young to have breast cancer.

PANCREATIC CANCER

He then explains the lump is a fibroadenoma and it is not cancerous.

The sigh of relief from your mother is telling; thank God. Still, the gravity of cancer remains unknown to you.

Seven years later, the unknown comes calling again.

This time you are not its target; it has came for your beloved.

What you thought was diabetes turned out to be stage four pancreatic cancer.

Who would have thought? Of all the cancers to have, pancreatic is the worst.

ADVERSE EFFECTS

It is often diagnosed late after it has metastasised aggressively.

It will take all you have, including your very bones, if it can.

You watch in despair as your loved one throws up five to six times every day.

They can barely keep down a small cup of coffee. The food they can eat is too little for an adult.

The days when they eat up the food in a small bowl is an occasion for celebration and sign of optimism.

CHEMOTHERAPY
At this point, chemotherapy is the only appropriate treatment. It could have been worse.

The oncologist could have said it’s too late. They remain hopeful and jovial at this chance to fight off the illness.

The first round of chemo goes by smoothly and the patient looks and feels much better.

As their eyes and ears, you always listen keenly as the clinical pharmacist explains the medication and any symptoms to look out for.

KIDNEYFAILURE
The next few days they have no apparent symptoms, but something else is brewing inside.

Rather quickly, things begin to unravel. One morning their feet appear swollen and they begin throwing up again.

The sound of their retching hurts you as you listen on helplessly. It is time for more tests.

It is then that you learn their kidneys are not functioning as they should.

They get stents put in to alleviate the symptoms. But the oncologist has more to say: The chemotherapy is not working.

PALLIATIVE CARE

It is time to stop the treatment. There is nothing more that can be done.

The tumours are just too aggressive. Your loved is now put on palliative care.

The next few days they will barely eat. They have one silent resolve: “If it is time, God take me home.”

In the middle of the night there is a loud, deep, gutsy snore, only it isn’t.

Your beloved is unconscious. There is a sense of peace as you call the ambulance.

It took only 12 minutes to get to you but it felt like hours.

HOSPITAL
The words “next of kin” now bear new meaning to you.

You now sleep with your phone fully charged under your pillow, just in case. You can barely sleep.

You might miss a call from the hospital or worse. The corridors of the hospital have now become an extended home.

When back home, you always shoot up from bed to check that your loved one is doing fine.

In panic in the middle of the night, you sometimes check their blood sugar to pre-empt another episode.

You encourage them to have a drink and a small sweet roll to keep their blood sugar up.

APPETITE

It is exciting and comforting that these are the two things they always manage to finish consuming.

Over the next weeks you cherish being at each other’s side.

You let them stroke your hair and rub your back. They would rather you be asleep but by their side.

The cancer is not done though. The weight loss is still taking its toll, appetite is fast reducing and your loved one is now down to eating two, at most three, spoons of food, but thank God for porridge.

Thankfully, the throwing up has stopped. But there is now fluid building up in the tummy. Another trip to the hospital.

EXHAUSTION

You have been here several times but somehow, your loved one always gets the same A&E room.

They look frail but sound strong. They even manage to tell you off a few times for playing around with the pulse oximeters and blood pressure cuffs.

They get the fluid drained and look much better.

But alas, it is all getting too much for them. They are always extremely exhausted and can barely swallow, and this affects their ability to take medication.

COMPANY

It is now time to take them to the hospice.

They have minimal mobility and they mostly want to rest or catch a few winks.

Over the next days, you spend every waking and sleeping hour next to them.

Even in their rest they know you are there and call you if they need something.

They always look so calm, at peace and content. In that peace, they gently draw their last breath.

On Sunday, the world will be marking World Cancer Day.

Spare a thought and prayer for families that have been and are affected by cancer.

The writer works with international businesses on commercial litigation. [email protected]