Good, bad and ugly advice for Jacque Maribe

A friend always says that “the worst advice is unsolicited advice,” a quote he relentlessly attributes to Nelson Mandela. While I was thinking of an apt introduction, I remembered the quote. I looked it up on the Internet, only to find that not only is there no such quote, but also Mandela has never been quoted as having said anything regarding unsolicited advice. What frauds I have, for friends.

That said, I’d like to officially begin this column with a fictitious quote; the worst advice is unsolicited advice.

I have unsuccessfully attempted to avoid writing about Jacque Maribe until today, when I finally gave in to my now notorious urge to offer unsolicited advice.

So, if you’re seated next to Maribe, I suggest you stop reading this and immediately hand over the gazette to her because today’s column is a Maribe-special.

Dear Jackline,

Congratulations on making bail.

I thought I’d write to you with some advice that I would give a person who has been where you have been, one who has almost nearly hit rock bottom, somebody who’s been to hell and back. I’ll start by painting the picture.

OPTIMISTIC

The good: Many may wonder what “good” there possibly could be in your current situation. Since you are taking advice from a city girl who has been known to be too optimistic for her own good, I never fail to see the positive side of any situation. You have a few things still going for you.

First and foremost, you are incredibly privileged and blessed to have a strong support system that includes a small circle of family, friends and allies who are fiercely rooting for you. This came out very clearly during the publicised court appearances.

My advice: You now know your true friends, those who will be by your side for better or for worse.

You will need them now when you are going to rebuild your life more than ever before. Do not be afraid to seek help from them when you need it.

TOUGH TIMES

That’s your circle now, your “tribe”. Let their support be your rock as you go through these tough times. It is better to have one friend that will always be there for you always, than a multitude who disappear when trouble knocks.

The bad: There are a lot of things that have been said and written about you, as you would imagine. You were the perfect poster girl for the news story of the year; beautiful celebrity news anchor with a handsome fiancé to boot and a murder case. A superb combination for a Hollywood thriller.

So there have been a couple of unkind rumours, headlines and conclusions drawn about you that might hurt you when you read them.

Social media and the blogs have been worse. My advice: Avoid social media, and the media in general, for now. Don’t replay those videos of yourself in court.

TEARS

Don’t read what people have written about you. It is not worth your time, your feelings and especially not your tears.

I suggest you focus on scaling the mountain before you, on reconnecting with your family and friends and on getting back on your feet.

Also, some biased advice from a city girl who is not a fan of social media; just quit social media. Leave altogether.

Disappear from the interwebs for a while. Don’t post anything yet. You’ll only give them fodder for their gossip. Let me tell you something Jacque, there is a certain freedom that comes from not having to post any filtered photos on social media to keep up appearances. Take it from me, I would know.

UGLY TRUTH

The ugly: The ugly truth is that your life and career as you knew them may not be the same anymore. The other ugly truth is, whether you are innocent or otherwise, this blot remains in your record forever. It has become an albatross which you will wear around your neck for long.

Clearing your name, if need be, might not be so easy. Women are generally judged more harshly by society while men find it easier to bounce back.

It is the society we live in. My advice; there is always a ray of hope. Chin up, Jacque. You can do this.

However this ends, you need to keep in mind that you will be fine. Take it a day at a time, focus on the bright side of things and of course, do not forget to pray.