The Ole Kamwaro marriage is wrong on very many levels
What you need to know:
- This 69 year old man, writhing in the agonies of loneliness, decided upon advice from the elders to take on a third wife, aged 23
- For the first 50 years of his life, as he went through 2 wives, she did not even exist.
- Men can still buy women and shroud it under a guise of companionship and cultural obedience.
Happy Jamhuri Day.
Although I am not sure which year of independence we are celebrating.
Some parts of our beloved country cannot watch the celebrations on TV, because there is no electricity - the ones who care, that is.
That ridiculous media bill - I am still surprised it is even being considered - is taking us way back to pre-coup days...so technically, the Jamhuri we are celebrating is a lie, because we are not really independent, and if we are, it has only been for about 10 years.
Happy Kenya at 10.
Unless, of course, the bill is passed. Then we can go ahead and call it Kenya at 0.
Speaking of things that are ridiculously archaic, DN2 carried a story the other day about Kenya's very own Hugh Hefner - Hassan Ole Kamwaro.
This 69 year old man, writhing in the agonies of loneliness, decided upon advice from the elders to take on a third wife.
His third wife is 23. Analysts and cultural experts have been saying what a great idea this is, and how culturally correct this marriage is. I completely disagree.
Culture is not always correct. In my opinion, this marriage is wrong on very many levels - or maybe it is wrong to me because I would never, ever do it.
Perhaps this girl, who is a Standard 7 drop-out and has never been to Nairobi, truly has something to offer this widely travelled, knowledgeable man who is 50 years her senior and - don't forget - lonely.
50 years her senior. That means for the first 50 years of his life, as he went through 2 wives, she did not even exist.
Let me tell you why I think this marriage is morally reprehensible.
Ole Kamwaro was quoted as saying that he does not want a girl with too much education, like some of these ones around here (yes, university graduates, you don't stand a chance. Your degree has made you unmarriageable material. So choose - the degree or the dud - I mean, dude.)
SIMILAR EDUCATION
Basically, this man is saying that though he was allowed the privilege of education, his partner should not be too educated.
Why is this? So he can manipulate her? Lord it over her? What? How can you not want someone whose mind has been expanded by some sort of education?
Isn't a partner supposed to be someone at your level? Someone who contributes to the marriage as well? Brings something to the table?
Not that she is not an intelligent woman - I have not met her so I have no idea - but you can't deny that partnerships of a marital or lifelong nature work better when two people are of the same - or moderately close - literacy, if not education, or at the very least, background.
Maybe they are the exception to the rule. Maybe it's not even a rule. Maybe her personality is what drew him in.
Or does he want to show her the world? Is that what he is? He wants to open her eyes to things she has never seen before?
Or even more likely, he prefers a barefoot, pregnant, uneducated wife - seeing as he specifically expressed that preference -, who he is planning to take to school so she can run his businesses.
Surely he has people who can do that for him?
There are other factors as well.
EMPLOYMENT CONTRACT
He speaks of someone to run his 3 bomas.
Isn't that what housekeepers are for?
This marriage sounds more and more like an employment contract to me. He didn't want a partner - he wanted a maid.
How is a 23 year-old supposed to relate to a 69 year-old? I don't care how mature you are for your age - a 69 year-old is treated as a grandfather.
He is probably the same age as her own grandfather.
Are they planning to have children? I am not willing to even delve into that, because I hope this is not some Zuma-like manifestation of finding the youngest purest virgin for some reason or another.
Her life is just beginning. At 23, the world is an oyster before you.
He is in his twilight years, and has effectively pulled her into those years with him - and she will probably be his nurse when things eventually go south.
Maybe that was the plan.
Men can still buy women and shroud it under a guise of companionship and cultural obedience.
