President Uhuru Kenyatta’s praise to the police service for “a job well done” during the elections is a big joke.
IT'S A JOKE: President Uhuru Kenyatta’s praise to the police service for “a job well done” during the elections is a big joke, says Collins Ochieng. The Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces, he adds, must be aware of the many innocent lives of children and adults lost as police officers used brute force against demonstrators. This, Collins believes, could have been true if he was lauding the Zimbabwean military for the “bloodless coup” against long-serving dictator Robert Mugabe. “How can he not feel the pain of the parents who have lost their beloved children?” he asks. His contact is email@example.com.
BLUNDERING ADULTS: Whenever blundering adults are admonished not to behave like children, Eliab Otiato says it pains him “because many children are more intelligent than some adults”. He has lately been grappling with how a leader could have decided to ferry raw sewage and garbage and dump in on the Jacaranda playing ground in Nairobi’s Eastlands to prevent a Nasa rally. “It does not matter that one had a grudge but to behave this way shows the lowest IQ in some people. Promising to investigate who was behind this silly act is hogwash. Did the sewage walk to the playground?” His contact is firstname.lastname@example.org
HE'S NO PARAGON: While agreeing that the country is headed in the wrong direction with its ballooning national debt, Robert Mukirae disagrees with the allusion to Tanzanian President John Magufuli as “a paragon of financial probity and thrift”. While he may have started out well, Robert adds, “he has developed into a micromanaging nitpicker with a penchant for terrorizing middle-level public service cadre and brooking no dissent”. His public display of his growing dislike for Kenyans, Robert adds, disqualifies him as a person “we should look to as an example”. His contact is email@example.com.
‘PAY US NOW’: One of the people who toiled for the Independent Electoral and Boundaries Commission, risking intimidation and violence in Mombasa, Carol Maina is upset about the deafening silence over pay, nearly a month since the General Election of August 8 was concluded. Carol volunteers that she was among the IEBC officials who risked their lives in Jomvu constituency in Mombasa and have not heard a word about their pay. “Now that Christmas is almost here, we need our pay but there is no sign that it is coming soon.” His contact is firstname.lastname@example.org.
STREET NAMES: Have the people charged with naming roads in Nairobi run out of ideas or is there a dearth of creativity? Well, streets, roads and other public facilities provide an opportunity to honour citizens who have excelled in professions or public service or who have shown exemplary creativity. In Nairobi, there are two Likoni Roads and Joseph Kodonyo reports that there is also Mararo Avenue, off Riara Road, and Mararo Avenue, off Argwings Kodhek Road. Why don’t they invite proposals from the public and even offer a small reward for the most befitting choices? His contact is email@example.com.
ROVING EYE: As Zimbabwe basks in glory following the bloodless coup that ended Robert Mugabe’s nearly 40-year rule, Joe Ranji’s wandering eye has taken in much more. Says he: “I have noticed that Zimbabwe has also got very beautiful women. Those shown on TV celebrating were quite cute. I’ve all along associated beautiful women with Zimbabwe’s neighbour, South Africa, where beauties such as Winnie Mandela and Yvonne Chaka come from.” And in this holiday season, Joe says he cannot be faulted for venturing south. His contact is firstname.lastname@example.org.
Have an attractive day, won’t you!