alexa Don’t stay in abusive marriage for show then leave in a coffin - Daily Nation

Don’t stay in abusive marriage for show then leave in a coffin

Friday November 22 2019

Even as I write this letter, many people are nursing bodily injuries from abusive lovers and spouses while those unfortunate are in morgues.

Most of the abused, particularly women, are educated, working and can comfortably be independent yet put up with an abusive marriage.

Even more bizarre, they fall for common bait of most abusive husbands, who convince them to leave employment and be housewives.

Out of employment and wholly dependent on their husbands they then become vulnerable to abuse and even murder.

Sadly, most women mistakenly believe they can change the habits and behaviours of fully-grown African men whose upbringing was traditional, where women are assumed to be the weaker sex, to be seen but not heard.

Abused women give a lot of lame excuses but the truth is they are not courageous enough to leave these violent marriages.

Some fear reaction from parents, peers and society. Others have a false believe that their children can’t make it in their absence.


On the other hand, some cannot leave the lavish lifestyle and food. They’d rather be butchered and die in a mansion than be alive in a shanty slum.

Women, beware that children will survive and some will be very successful whether you die or live. Better leave and live to see your children than stay and die.

You were raised and educated to be independent in life. No one has died for lack of marriage, so, why put up with beatings to a pulp?

Even chained slaves could at times run away irrespective of the consequences if caught neither do animals tolerate abuse, so why you?

Your house has turned into a big prison, where you leave for work in the morning and return in the evening for a night of torture.

Where have you seen a tortured inmate return to the same prison voluntarily? That’s what our women are doing.

No parent educates his/her daughter to depend on a man for that is slavery. Marriage does not need school education.


Securitywise, most women are too comfortable to even inform their families of their lovers.

They court disaster by hiding their lovers from families as if they are precious gems while they in reality are murderous pals in waiting.

In apartments, most women are not willing to identify their male lovers or visitors to be booked by security personnel.

I advice women for free: please allow apartment security to book your visitors particulars.

Individuals who are known will think twice before committing crime. If you’ve been separated for over a year, chances of reunion and living in peace are zero.

Criminals are killing because they know they are unknown. Most of men who beat and kill their women are handsome, which camouflages their diabolical actions.

Those women leaders sympathetic to the abused and murdered women can offer pro bono investigations and legal representation instead of rhetoric.

Robert Musamali, Nairobi