Forget the drama, somebody just wants to play with people’s minds on Dec 12

Sunday December 3 2017

Kenyan soldiers march during the inauguration ceremony of  President Uhuru Kenyatta at Kasarani Stadium in Nairobi, on November 28, 2017.

Kenyan soldiers march during the inauguration ceremony of President Uhuru Kenyatta at Kasarani Stadium in Nairobi, on November 28, 2017. PHOTO | YASUYOSHI CHIBA | AFP 

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There is going to be another presidential inauguration on Jamhuri Day. A double celebration it will be: Our country’s independence commemoration and the swearing-in of an alternative sitting president.

Jacaranda Grounds in Nairobi’s Eastlands ought to be the venue of this second inaugural, hoping the sewage that was poured on the field by goons ahead of last Tuesday’s first inauguration at Kasarani stadium will have been cleaned up. You don’t want the country’s religious leaders who will attend to drag their robes along this slime.    

Chief Justice David Maraga, who adheres to a puritanical Seventh Day Adventist faith, may need persuasion to preside.

What about Chief of Defence Forces Sam Mwathethe? Will he send a military guard of honour to grace the event? Or better still will he attend in person to salute his alternate commander-in-chief?


What about the Speakers of the National Assembly and the Senate? The People’s Assembly thing makes no sense to them. It is a complete waste of time in their view.

This will be a perfect opportunity for our good neighbour John Magufuli to show up. He will be among friends, bosom friends. In his speech, he will want to make amends with the local Maasai for unkindly confiscating their livestock. Uganda’s Yoweri Museveni will most likely skip the day. The last thing he wants to be reminded of is the behaviour of a fellow called Kizza Besigye.

I nominate Churchill Ndambuki to lead the entertainment part. No, let him be the day’s MC. The whole scene could fit nicely into his “Churchill Live” show. We need the laughs. We will try not to rub it in. By the way, the best comedy is when the actors are real.  


Governor Mike Sonko is certain to get intolerant and seek to spoil the event. Forget the fancy new suits he has been wearing of late. He is not the only one with enforcers at his beck and call. Has he ever heard of Men in Black?

An online acquaintance laments that she missed last Tuesday’s State House Garden luncheon. She vows not to miss the next one after the Jamhuri Day inauguration, as long as nobody is going to throw a tear gas canister at her. She wants the menu printed and embossed in white, with no omena appearing anywhere. Smoked tilapia will do for the main course.

Light benga music in the background will be a superb addition.

Will the international community shower us with messages of congratulations? Who knows? Barack Obama could be in a good mood and give us a cheer. It seems he was not keen on the Kasarani fete. He will think twice when the call is coming from a cousin. Kogelo blood is thicker than Gatundu water.


There is the small matter of which oath of office will be taken. The crowds will be delirious if they are told it will be for the newly minted People’s Republic of Kenya.

The similarly named Democratic People’s Republic Korea (DPRK) — otherwise unofficially known as North Korea — will not hesitate to dispatch an envoy. People’s Republics are wonderful creations of the mid-20th Century. They were inspired by Mao’s China and his collectivist experiments. They drum into their subjects that life is not all about reality. It is mainly about dreams.

Mercifully, the inauguration will clear up some confusion about the way forward. Initially we had geared up to a 90-day period before a fresh election.

Then came the alert that there would be a sixth-month interim government that would prepare for elections. There was even a petition that was to be lodged with the UN about getting Kenya a legitimate government. Aren’t we almost there now?


Why all the fuss about Nyeri Senator Ephraim Maina saying he does not like Cabinet Minister Mwangi Kiunjuri? Doesn’t he have a right to an opinion? We must take exception to this emerging trend of gagging people from critiquing cabinet appointments. So what if they remain the President’s prerogative?

Does he appoint them to serve gremlins in Jupiter? Sorry, the new Cabinet will be given the microscopic treatment. And any undue predisposition to the succession politics of 2022 will be called out.