Boris Johnson becomes Prime Minister, a black day for Britain

In what many, including this writer, believe will go down as a black day in our national story, Britain got a new Prime Minister last Tuesday, by name of Boris Johnson.

Johnson defeated Foreign Secretary Jeremy Hunt in a vote by members of the ruling Conservative Party for a successor to Teresa May, who resigned the premiership after MPs rejected the details of her negotiated deal to pull the country out of the European Union.

The winning margin in the PM contest was substantial – 92,153 votes to 46,656.

In his victory speech, Johnson promised to deliver Brexit (short for Britain’s exit from Europe) by October 31, to unite the country and defeat the opposition Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn.

“We are once again going to believe in ourselves and like some slumbering giant, we are going to rise and ping off the ropes of self-doubt and negativity.”

NO DEAL

Back in 2016, a national referendum decreed Britain’s exit from Europe by a narrow margin. At no point was it believed that the withdrawal would take place without an agreement with Europe.

But that has proved impossible and the United Kingdom faces the real possibility of a no-deal Brexit by the October deadline, which Johnson has threatened.

The effect of such a move would almost certainly be economically catastrophic, and no less an authority than the Office for Budget Responsibility warned that it would shrink the economy by two percent in 2020 alone.

Johnson disputes this, boldly proclaiming that trade pacts can quickly be sealed with individual countries, a highly optimistic claim. Further, the new PM’s record of accuracy is highly questionable.

INACCURATE

Leading the campaign to leave, Johnson infamously proclaimed that quitting the EU would free up £350 million (Ksh44 billion) a week for the National Health Service, a claim that was derided by the head of Britain’s statistics watchdog as “a clear misuse of official statistics”.

Johnson also claimed Turkey was about to join the EU. Wrong! Its application had stalled.

Then last week, he declared that an EU rule meant Britain’s smoked herrings must be packed in ice for export, an inconvenience for companies. Wrong again. The regulation was imposed by the British government.

Add to this situation, Britain’s recent clash with Iran and recalling Johnson’s many notorious blunders when he was briefly Foreign Secretary, and you wonder if there is anyone less appropriate to take the helm of the nation.

As the Observer newspaper asked last week, “How can this man be trusted to lead Britain in the wake of a catastrophic no-deal?”

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It is one of the nastiest offences in most people’s eyes, yet it seems to be happening more and more often – professional carers taking advantage of vulnerable old folk to steal their money.

Harriet Rowe, 24, of Bridlington, Yorkshire, was responsible for the care of a man in his 80s who suffered from anxiety and depression and had heart problems.

Stealing his credit card, she withdrew up to £500 a day from an ATM and bought herself lingerie, cigarettes, computer equipment and jewellery, including a £185 bracelet.

Hull Crown Court was told that Rowe took a total of £7,500 while her victim lived a frugal lifestyle, living mostly off bread and jam. She was sent to prison for 14 months.

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Asked what they would change if they had a chance to restage their wedding, married couples named their wedding dress, the best man and the bridesmaids.

One in six told researchers they would marry someone else.

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A talented young woman, a dentist, was walking over a pedestrian crossing in London when she was knocked down by a drunken driver.

She sustained serious injuries, which took months to heal. The driver was sent to prison.

Long afterwards and now out of jail, the driver needed dental treatment and by extraordinary coincidence, he walked into the office of the woman he had knocked down. He didn’t recognise her, but she recognised him.

Politely and professionally, she asked him to sit in the dentist’s chair, carefully chose an instrument and assured him it wouldn’t hurt. She lied.

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A couple of churchy jokes this week:

Pondering the existence of God, American comedian Woody Allen remarked, “If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.”

A devout young man decided he wanted to be a monk and joined a very strict religious order. One of the rules was that the monks could only speak two words a year.

At the end of the first year, the novice monk met the Abbot and said, “Bed hard.” After the second year, he said, “Food terrible.” Come the third year, he declared “I’m leaving.”

Said the Abbot, “Good riddance! You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here.”

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