Removal of thugs from roads best news yet from these shores

Public service vehicles queue along Accra Road in Nairobi. Much as we love the chaos, it’s time for order and sanity. PHOTO | FILE | NATION MEDIA GROUP

What you need to know:

  • By all means, get rid of the criminals and their minions and let all vehicles be driven within the speed limit, no lane hogging and craziness.
  • I hate the fact that matatu crews threw a young man off a moving vehicle, run over Kenyans as a matter of routine and are a law unto themselves because they pay protection money.

Every morning is a nightmare for me. I drive on roads with the worst traffic and drivers whose bad manners have to be seen to be believed.

Traffic officers have to physically supervise drivers on Kiambu Road to stop them from overlapping and shutting down the road.

At the Pangani overpass, there is an unusual double merge of traffic arising from the design of the road, which must have been done by a child: The traffic from Muthaiga merges with that from Kiambu Road, then the two fuse with that on Thika ‘Superjamway’.

Drivers on this road will not allow you to join the flow; they put the nose of their vehicle in front of yours.

As for the Long Noses from Mwiki and Githurai, many are the mornings I have had one on the left and another on the right and all trying to occupy the same space with me.

They look haunted — from the sheer number of poor passengers who have either been flung off, run over or otherwise knocked down and killed.

LAW

When I look reprovingly at the drivers, they always avert their gaze, their eyes, like a zombie’s, red and lifeless, the result, perhaps, of too much drink or sleep deprivation, or both.

I used to have a car for this road — a thick-metal Toyota Landcruiser box with bull bars straight out of hell, one capable of writing off a Long Nose without anything worse than a paint bruise happening to it.

I have had what is popularly known as a Nissan matatu shoot into the tyre hung at the rear and observe its front crumble like foil and driven on without the least inconvenience.

I am a great believer in the law and abide by it. But I am not going to risk getting killed on a bad road by getting out of my car to spend half the night taking cell phone pictures of the damaged matatu whose drunk driver rear-ended me.

FUEL

Sadly, I bought adulterated fuel on the same Kiambu Road and the engine wouldn’t fire up.

The only mechanic who was any good at getting it back on its wheels went off to Somalia.

So, I have a car which, when I get some time, I’ll file out the chassis number, remove the plates and all identifying marks, then tow it to a quiet road in the middle of the night and leave it to the bloody county government to do with as it sees fit.

Now, given that taxis have become too expensive and since I can’t afford a five-litre Fuji white Range Rover with a panoramic sunroof and a red leather interior, I have to face this jungle in a car that makes me feel as if I am sitting on the tarmac.

And it is a nightmare. You can imagine my joy when I read John Kamau’s story about an impending crackdown on these thugs on our roads.

I have a confession. I dislike the unkempt, old, rickety, rude Long Noses. But I love the noisy, over-lit, colourful, grunting and grinding ‘nganyas’ — from a distance. I love noisy music.

NGANYA

In my car, especially on a peaceful night, it’s always deafening. I think the colourful noisy matatu is a significant reflection of who we are — our manic energy, brash and unrealistic ambitions and our tendency toward ‘wilding’ and drama.

But I am also old enough to realise that nothing good can come out of lawless roads, run by criminal gangs.

I hate the fact that matatu crews threw a young man off a moving vehicle, run over Kenyans as a matter of routine and are a law unto themselves because they pay protection money. Much as we love the chaos, it’s time for order and sanity.

By all means, get rid of the criminals and their minions and let all vehicles be driven within the speed limit, no lane hogging and craziness.

The Long Nose should be banned outright, all examples rounded up and burnt. But can we keep the crazy shaped, clean, colourful beautiful ones? They can be asked to sound-proof.

* * *

Jamal Ahmad Khashoggi, a Saudi journalist and Washington Post columnist, is reported to have been drugged and cut to pieces in the Saudi Arabia consulate in Istanbul, Turkey, by a hit squad, apparently dispatched by Riyadh.

Why a government would order the dismemberment of a citizen, and a journalist to boot, one who was not even advocating its overthrow, is difficult to understand. How long can we avert our gaze from worse atrocities, such as Yemen?

All people of the world must stand united in disgust against this tyranny. No human being should ever occupy a position where he can take away the right of another to live and the freedom to express oneself freely.

These rights are not a gift from tyrants, however fabulously rich and powerful. These rights are ours, all of us, by virtue of our humanity.

PROFIT

US President Donald Trump, in his own indefensible way, has decided to walk down a path that would have been unimaginable a few years ago.

He insists that Riyadh has “strongly denied” the allegations. Huffpost, a publication which strongly opposes Mr Trump, has claimed that he is not defending the Saudis for the big defence contracts the kingdom has granted US firms but the millions of dollars that they pour into his pockets through his real estate empire.

For once, Mr Trump should rise above self-interest and stand with the rest of the world in asking that the killers of Mr Khashoggi be found and punished.

He should also encourage the Saudi royal family to pursue more moderate policies.