Society must strive to always protect the rights of widows

One of the most admirable attributes is being a person of your word.

You remain true to what you say and make every effort to meet and fulfil your promises.

Where this is not feasible, you admit defeat and ask to be set free from your bond. One of the greatest and most sacred such bond is the wedding vow; those five words: "Till death do us part".

But what happens when one of the spouses dies? What becomes of the one left behind? And what does it mean to be a widow?

Inexplicably, society still holds the view that part of a woman’s worth is derived from marriage.

Strangely, when a husband dies, the woman’s value 'depreciates' and she is inevitably viewed as a hapless, if not pitiful, case. Yet her value was not always 'appreciated' when she had a husband.

PROPERTY

Worse, retrogressively, there are those who regard women as property, to be passed on to the highest or most favoured bidder, or to be inherited by a relative of the deceased.

Consequently, when the husband dies, the widow is 'bequeathed' to another like chattel. Of course, chattel is neither esteemed nor worthy to inherit their husband’s property, particularly land.

And so, those who deem themselves as the true proprietors divide the property in total disregard of the widow or her children.

MATRIMONIAL PROPERTY

It is telling that MPs in the previous House sought to amend into law that a woman should only be entitled to 30 per cent of matrimonial property after death or divorce.

Such selfish acts are the prerequisite of society’s perception of widows as hapless.

On the contrary, widows have been made vulnerable, not least by those who stood at the wedding ceremony and vowed to help the couple remain true to their vows.

With this imposed vulnerability, the widow becomes a target of sexual abuse and physical violence. Even before the flowers on the grave wither, some widows are swiftly evicted from their homes by the husband’s relatives.

CULTURE AND TRADITIONS

Dare the widow object under such circumstances? How can she when she is told categorically that “this is not an infringement on your rights. Your rights were conditional, wholly dependent on you having a husband. In his absence, our culture and traditions take precedence over your rights.”

But we must ask ourselves; what will it take to change the perception and treatment of widows?
At the basic level, a widow is a human being just like you and I.

Every human being deserves to be treated with respect and dignity by virtue of their humanity. Gender places no caveat on an individual's constitutional rights.

REVERSED ROLES

If roles were reversed, how would it feel to be at the how would it feel to be at the receiving end of a widow’s treatment?

Empathise with the widows, they have suffered a great and significant loss and these kinds of treatment are adding to more feelings of loss yet they are unwarranted.

Oh, is it really worth and warranted to maintain traditions where a human being is reduced to a possession?

To be tossed aside without consent, with barely any say or option in the matter? It is time to re-educate ourselves. Let us do away with cultures that have no value but which rob us of our humanity.

Undeniably, the presence of the law has not been a deterrent to the abuse and mistreatment of widows. It will take community will power to uphold justice for widows.

INHERITANCE

It is futile for a widow to claim her rights yet elders are leading the charge to deny her rightful inheritance and dues just to maintain an oppressive status quo.

No human being deserves to be subjected to poverty, to be victimised sexually and physically abused. So why do we do it to widows?

The attitude that this is a women’s issue to be addressed by women is also neither here nor there.

A widow’s rights are an issue for men as well, just as much as they are a children’s issue. When one loses, the others lose, too.

The rights of widows affect women, they affect men, because they expose their spouses to suffering beyond the grave and they affect the children who lose a father and only have one parent to look up to in the face of the onslaught of hostile relatives.

Today being the International Widows Day, let us make this issue everyone's issue. What will you do to ease the life of a widow?

Burini works with international businesses on commercial litigation. [email protected]