Starvation is only for paupers, and politicians are not poor

Akai Lorupo of Nachoto village in Turkana County waits for relief food on March 22, 2019, as hunger bites. PHOTO | JARED NYATAYA | NATION MEDIA GROUP

What you need to know:

  • Kenyans had been waiting for a word from the presidency since helpless Kenyans up north began dying from hunger and starvation.
  • The Head of State responded to the public outcry by appearing in church driving a G-Wagon Mercedes Benz whose price is steeper than a cave bear’s forehead.

When the Deputy President’s communication team sent an alert to media houses inviting them to a press conference last Monday, the country almost came to a standstill.

Kenyans had been waiting for a word from the presidency since helpless Kenyans up north began dying from hunger and starvation.

Journalists were competing against each other on who’d get to Harambee House Annex first.

Then the moment we’d all been waiting for arrived. The Deputy President, Dr William Ruto, walked out flanked by 12 convex-bellied men, all in three-piece designer suits and matching neckties; so smart you’d think they had just been summoned from a wedding committee meeting.

The last thing one would think any of them knew about was hunger. The 13-man line-up included four Cabinet Secretaries representing Treasury, Water, Devolution and Agriculture.

LUXURY

Three of them stood out. Mwangi Kiunjuri, the Agriculture Cabinet Secretary, who has battled more fires than the head of the Nairobi Fire Station, looked visibly dumbstruck and weather-beaten. The only refreshing aspect of his body language was his budding moustache.

The Water CS, Simon Chelugui, showed no sign of emotion, his designer wristwatch so bright it could switch off this Nairobi sun and save all of us from this sweltering roast.

His pin-striped suit was tailored to the last body contour; he must be getting grooming tips directly from a Milan fashion store.

Then there was Henry Rotich, the moneyman. His hairline was sharper than the Jubilee razor Ben Githae warned us about; he must have come into the press conference straight from his five-star barbershop.

Of the 13 men on the parade he was the only one with a folder, and thus the only one who wasn’t holding his hands in submission.

His body language spoke of a man not willing to take part in that public relations charade.

NO DEATHS

And then there was the star of the show, Dr Ruto himself, Crown Prince of the Hustler’s Kingdom and the only roadside chicken seller to ever make it to the second most powerful seat in the land.

It’s no mean feat facing your fellow hustlers who are starving at a time like this, and so he took off his jacket — which, as any public relations expert will tell you, is a way to signal that you are ready to roll up your sleeves and get down to work.

But just when starving Kenyans were beginning to question why someone who is visibly well-fed would be pretending to care about them, Dr Ruto removed all doubt by telling the nation that no one had died from hunger and starvation.

The insensitivity in that speech was so loud you could feel television sets shaking from the lies.

NEGLIGENCE

Not in that bridegroom line-up was Gideon Moi, son of retired president Daniel arap Moi, and whose relationship with the national language, Swahili, would most accurately be described as ‘distant’.

He is the Baringo County Senator, and you would imagine he would be one of the first responders on site when the news broke out that his people were dying of hunger.

Instead, on the day the mainstream media headlines were finally dominated by news of the famine, Gideon Moi was at Moi High School Kabarak cutting cake and making merry during the school’s 40th anniversary celebrations.

You would have expected him to at least use the platform to send a message of hope to his people, but he didn’t.

REVOLT

In 1789, during the reign of King Louis XVI, a great famine occurred in France. At that time, the staple food of the French peasantry was bread.

Upon being told that the people were suffering due to widespread bread shortages, Queen Marie Antoinette responded on behalf of her husband with that famous remark: “Let them eat cake!”

That quote has been cited as the catalyst of the 1789 French Revolution that abolished the French monarchy and established a secular and democratic republic.

But if you thought you had seen enough, wait until you find out President Uhuru Kenyatta’s response to the crisis.

CARE

The Head of State responded to the public outcry by appearing in church driving a G-Wagon Mercedes Benz whose price is steeper than a cave bear’s forehead.

He was visibly having such a good time with churchgoers that you could bottle the laughter ringing around him and sell it at top dollar.

When the church service ended, he probably drove to an exclusive golf club to enjoy a drink or two with friends who have only ever seen hunger on television.

For a man who grew up summoning food which then appears like a switch was turned on, one wouldn’t blame him for the gap in leadership on this issue up to two weeks later.

Mr Oguda writes on topical issues; [email protected]