What you need to know:
- We should begin to ask questions about the personal motives of public officials who push the anti-corruption agenda in the pretext of speaking for the masses.
- They also have no qualms being ensnared into the devil's lair for their hair to be clean-shaven, and with it going their political strength.
Stranger things have happened in this country before: Daniel arap Moi quietly quit politics just when we were certain he would be President for life.
People who cannot read an English sentence got elected as governors. Kenyan politicians proved that we can now build dams inside our stomachs. And the President dropped a reggae beat, and no one can stop him now.
But nothing is as strange as the revelations this week that a politician was lured away from national duty to kill an impeachment motion against Ms Anne Waiguru, then-Cabinet Secretary for Devolution and Planning. You have to watch it to believe it.
What began as a normal court case between a husband and wife seeking a divorce has now turned into a national spectacle, with family secrets spilling faster than flood water.
Meru Senator Mithika Linturi and his partner, Maryanne Keitany, are the cause of this soap opera that is threatening to eclipse any Hollywood box office hit movie.
Divorce proceedings are always noisy, messy, and with casualties. Linen that was once washed in private gets aired on the public clothing line.
Observers will get to know who paid for your mother-in-law's adult education classes and which bridesmaid was evicted from the after-party for winking at the dangerously handsome groom.
You need a blood pressure monitor by your side when watching divorce proceedings of this kind, because one moment you're laughing hysterically at the bridal cake made from fermented milk and the next moment, your heart is racing faster than a formula one car at the groom missing his bride's lips and swallowing her tongue.
Those who have been crying out for fresh comedy content on our TV screens have now got their wish.
The show organisers only need to provide a parental advisory before going live because our children, currently on holiday, are still too young to watch the institution of marriage being dragged like this.
The Keitany-Linturi divorce proceedings have exposed the stinking rot in Kenya's politics.
Had there been no divorce proceedings, Kenyans would never have found out the details regarding the Anne Waiguru impeachment motion that threatened to split the Jubilee coalition down the middle.
We would never have known why the mover of the motion was absent on the material day.
When everyone in Kenya had dropped everything they were doing and bought their sack of popcorn for the drama that was to happen in Parliament, Linturi was halfway around the world getting his muscles relaxed and popping champagne.
These revelations should get every right thinking Kenyan worried about this country.
We should begin to ask questions about the personal motives of public officials who push the anti-corruption agenda in the pretext of speaking for the masses.
We should also wonder about how easy it is to topple political agendas — after all, the price of impeaching a Cabinet Secretary is equivalent to a hot massage at a four-star hotel.
Our politicians come at such rock-bottom prices that we should just move Parliament to the Indian Ocean floor.
If Mr Linturi was more broke than shattered glass, and he needed a quick fix out of his financial woes, there were many dignified options at his disposal — he could have opened a Paybill number for Kenyans of goodwill to drop in old currency; put on a sackcloth and handled a begging bowl outside his favourite Nairobi restaurant; bandaged one of his legs and poured tomato sauce on it, and limped around Nairobi streets on a broken crutch.
Better yet, he could have converted into a street preacher and threatened us with hell if we wouldn't contribute to the advancement of his ministry. There are many routes to Naivasha.
Watching the Keitany-Linturi reality show gives you the feeling that our politicians lost their sense of shame a long time ago — all they have now is the sense of smell for easy money, taste for blinding pleasures, and touch for luring phone calls.
They also have no qualms being ensnared into the devil's lair for their hair to be clean-shaven, and with it going their political strength.
The painful reality is that our politicians who claim to serve a living God are subverting the course of justice in this country and our clergy still allow them to stand on our pulpits to lecture us on piety.
They religiously plan ungodly things under the cover of darkness on how to bring down their political enemies, but are the first to board a chopper to church at first light, carrying bundles of old notes to wash away their contaminated image.
They forget that our God is an awesome God, for He sees the games politicians play with the masses and He promises to expose them in the fullness of time.
Mr Oguda comments on topical issues; [email protected]