Violence against children an evil with no place in civilised society

What you need to know:

  • The government should carry out regular national surveys to establish levels of abuse and violence against children.

  • We must rise to protect children from all forms of violence, including sexual abuse, and save them from, especially, the mental impact of such bestiality.

  • Mothers who cover up for their paedophiliac husbands “for the sake of their marriage” and must not go unpunished.

Three weeks ago, the Unicef office in Nairobi organised a discussion forum for a group of journalists and school children drawn from primary and secondary schools.

It was quite refreshing to listen to the children give their views and opinions — uninterrupted — on the disturbing issue that is the rampant brutality against and abuse of children.

The primary school pupils were particularly interested in corporal punishment and spoke passionately about it.

PUNISHMENT

Their keenness to get answers to their queries and the opinions of the adults in the room — who included experts on children’s issues, as well as Unicef staff — was clear from their attentiveness and questions.

It was interesting, too, how varied the opinions of the little ones were on the issue. There were those who innocently and loudly wondered whether oral warnings and related punishment to the “naughty ones” would really help to shape them if the rod were spared.

ELOQUENTLY

They concurred that corporal punishment is, indeed, violence and must remain outlawed. They were united, too, against any form of violence against children in the guise of punishment at school or home.

One teen raised a pertinent issue. She explained, calmly and eloquently, how her friend and school mate was going through a difficult time fighting personal issues but no one at home would listen to her. She spoke of the need for parents, guardians and teachers, particularly, to always give an ear to young people, especially teenagers, because they need guidance.

HEART-BREAKING

Listening to her brought to mind some heart-breaking narrations of mothers who had failed their young daughters. I recently visited a centre that rescues girls with crisis (unwanted) pregnancies. The children, and others who had passed through the home, aged 11 to 17, were thrown out by their parents and guardians when they became pregnant — the circumstances of the pregnancy notwithstanding.

Two of the cases were most disturbing. They involved, separately, girls aged 15 and 16.

SHOCKINGLY

The older girl lived with her maternal grandmother as her single mother hustled and eventually got married. When she was 15, her step-father asked that she join the family. But one day, he raped her.

As she mulled whether to inform her mother or not, the rapist’s brother, her paternal uncle, also raped her. It was then that she confided in her mother what the men had done to her. Shockingly, the woman angrily accused her daughter of “snatching” her husband! The girl ran away and a Good Samaritan took her to the centre. She has since given birth and the baby adopted.

PAEDOPHILIA

The 15-year-old was sexually abused by her biological father and her mother’s reaction was similar to the other one. Being a product of incest, her baby, too, was given up for adoption.

I have quite a number of similar examples from different parts of the country.

Such cases of mothers who abet sexual abuse against their young daughters and expose the children to sexual abuse by covering up for their paedophiliac husbands “for the sake of their marriage” is horrendous and must not go unpunished. For both parents.

EMOTIONAL

The government should carry out regular national surveys to establish levels of abuse and violence against children. The only such study, published in 2010, showed 76 percent of girls experience physical, sexual and emotional violence before they were 18 while it is 70 per cent for boys. The ‘Violence Against Children’ report showed that 31.9 percent of the girls had been subjected to sexual and emotional violence while 17.5 per cent of the boys had experienced sexual violence before turning 18 as 31.9 went through emotional abuse. Some 66 percent girls had been subjected to physical violence by age 18 and, for the boys, 73.1.

LIFETIME

Indeed, the need for fresh data on violence against children and a new strategy for dealing with the vice is critical.

Lastly, we must rise to protect children from all forms of violence, including sexual abuse, and save them from, especially, the mental impact of such bestiality. Research shows the impact of such violence against a child can last a lifetime.

Ms Rugene is a consultant editor. [email protected]. Twitter: @nrugene