When women terrorise the men in their lives and they suffer in silence

An illustration of domestic abuse. Men are equally victims. PHOTO | FILE | NATION MEDIA GROUP

What you need to know:

  • Official figures show that in the year ending March 2018, some two million British adults had experienced domestic abuse.
  • Official UK figures say one in six men will experience domestic abuse at some point but only one in 20 will ever seek help.

"I’ll never forget the moment that my girlfriend first poured scalding water over me.”

Those are hard words to read, even to believe, but Alex Skeel was telling the truth about his female partner, Jordan Worth, and how she abused him for years.

“She backed me into a corner, holding a boiling kettle … I can still see that first tiny drop of water falling onto my skin … the pain was like nothing I had ever experienced. I begged her to let me get in a bath filled with cold water … then she told me I had to get out or she would do it all over again.”

Mr Skeel, aged 22, spoke to the BBC at length as part of an effort to fight the stigma around male domestic abuse.

Official figures show that in the year ending March 2018, some two million British adults had experienced domestic abuse, one-third of them men.

ABUSE

Police in England and Wales recorded almost 150,000 incidents of abuse against men in 2017 — more than double the number reported five years earlier.

Alex met his girlfriend when they were 16 and for a while everything was fine.

But before long Jordan had isolated him from friends and family and even took over his Facebook account.

It took 18 months for the mental abuse to turn violent. “She used to hit me with a glass bottle and demand, ‘What are you thinking about?’ Then it was a hammer … one time it was a laptop charger, she swung the plug at my head and blood gushed out … she slashed me with knives and then came the boiling water.”

It was when a neighbour called the police about the screaming that the abuse came to light. “I could feel my body shutting down,” Alex said.

“She denied me food and I’d lost kilos in weight and doctors told me I had been 10 days from death.”

PRISON TIME

Jordan was charged with controlling or coercive behaviour in an intimate relationship, wounding with intent and causing grievous bodily harm.

She was sentenced to seven-and-a-half years in prison, the first woman in the UK to be jailed for domestic abuse.

Why did she do it? Said her victim, “I think it was pure jealousy. I was very close to my family and had brilliant friends. She took me away from everything I ever had.”

Why didn’t he leave? “We had two kids together and my fear was that if I left, she would turn her abuse on them.”

Official UK figures say one in six men will experience domestic abuse at some point but only one in 20 will ever seek help.

* * *

Some foreign nationals are paying criminals up to £2,000 (Ksh261,000) to receive the answers to their citizenship application by means of a secret earpiece, according to a BBC investigation.

The test assesses candidates’ knowledge of UK laws, history and society as part of a process to secure British nationality.

An undercover BBC researcher was told by Masoud Abul Raza of the Ideal Learning Academy in London: “You have to spend nearly £2,000. It’s completely hidden, but you are getting a result.”

He gave the journalist a hidden two-way earpiece linked wirelessly to a concealed mobile phone with an open line.

This meant the gang outside could hear the audio feed of the test questions and provide the answers.

The researcher took the test and passed. He was not searched or told to hand over electronic devices, as the law requires.

The Learning Academy denied cheating took place and Abdul Raza maintained he only organised legitimate training.

* * *

Four weeks ago, the 97-year-old Duke of Edinburgh, husband of Queen Elizabeth, was involved in a spectacular crash when he drove out of the Queen’s private estate at Sandringham in Norfolk and collided with a family car.

His Land Rover rolled several times but the duke was unhurt. Two women in the other car sustained minor injuries. Later the duke was spotted driving another car without a seat belt.

However, motorists may now breathe a little easier. The duke has surrendered his driving licence. He was later told he would not be prosecuted.

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Last week, I mentioned a popular saying about alcohol and hangovers, namely: “Beer before wine and you will feel fine; wine before beer and you’ll feel queer.”

A reader contributes another version: “Whisky after beer, have no fear; beer after whisky, rather risky; brandy after both, makes you randy.”

* * *

A minister told his congregation, “In preparation for my sermon next week, I want you all to read Mark 17.”

The following Sunday, the minister asked how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, “Mark has only 16 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.”