Help! Masturbation destroying marriages
Low self-esteem, depression, and stress can impact you negatively.
What you need to know:
- Taking on new habits and associating with friends who can help you break the habit.
- If sexuality is not well handled and discussed by parents or the community, it will continue to be seen as a taboo topic
Shalom,
I came across two articles in the Daily Nation titled, ‘Please help! I have been masturbating for the last 12 years, I need help!’ And another, ‘My son is addicted to masturbation.’ Thank you for the advice that you offered. There are spiritual connections to these “secret addictions” that are tied to spiritual husbands and spiritual wives and the Strongman Asmodeus. These are things that are not discussed openly because they carry a lot of shame and guilt. Please let us help our children and youth, many times they do not know the spiritual implications involved in these secret addictions such as masturbation.
Dear reader,
I agree that masturbation is still a hushed conversation due to fear of rejection, shame, and guilt. For most people, what started as a fun thing has now morphed into an addiction that is destroying marriages and the lives of teenagers. As a society, we must be aware of why people get addicted to masturbation, its dark side, as it has harsh side effects, and why the affected need to seek help.
The inception of such a habit differs from one person to another. Some people get into masturbation after abuse, or out of a feeling of low self-esteem, depression, or even initiation by others. Sadly, some adults who are involved in this argue that it helps them get the satisfaction they may have missed in their marriage partner. Whatever the reason, masturbation is unnatural and the wrong way to apply one’s sexuality. We were made female and male for procreation and pleasure. Some sexologists and other experts believe that it could also start due to a lack of love and support while growing up.
The other dark side of masturbation is that the habit lingers, and one can easily fall into adulterous sexual fantasies, which is a sin.
Today, many youth, teens, and even children have been initiated into the habit through the Internet, associations with others—either agemates or adults or by watching sexually explicit movies.
As I mentioned earlier, we must acknowledge that masturbation is an unnatural habit. It is against our culture.
How then do we help a father or a son, for instance, move forward and break the habit so that they do not suffer quiet emotions like guilt, stress, shame, distress, and depression?
First, understanding the core causes will help one get to the root and learn ways to break the cycle.
If your son is addicted to masturbation, find out if he was enabled by watching sexually explicit materials or by friends. Start by controlling what he watches and the friends he hangs out with. Evaluate the company that he keeps and what they do.
For example, friends at school or in the estate easily pass on bad habits to your child. If your son has bad company, encourage him to change friends.
Second, have the masturbation talk, candidly. As a parent, don’t feel embarrassed to delve into the subject freely with your children.
If sexuality is not well handled and discussed by parents or the community, it will continue to be seen as a taboo topic.
Low self-esteem
We have to discuss issues of sexuality freely with our children without condemning them. Use a language that is engaging and less judgmental.
In conclusion, here are four things you and your child could do to overcome this vice. First, rebuild your identity. Low self-esteem, depression, and stress can impact you negatively. Rebuild yourself as a man or woman, physically, and emotionally.
Second, evaluate the kinds of friends and hobbies you involve yourself in. Keep away from the bad company that is holding you back. What we do or involve ourselves in during our spare time can slowly lead us astray or into bad addictions. Don’t let your idle mind turn into the devil’s workshop.
Friends lead others to stray and easily fall into bondage. Additionally, be careful of the movies you watch or the social media pages or posts that you view. Sexually explicit clips or comments could lure you into a trap.
Fourth, redefine your social life. Taking on new habits and associating with friends who can help you break the habit will bear positive fruits for those seeking to stop masturbation.
See a counsellor to help you recreate new habits. Value and build strong and faithful accountability.
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