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Letter to my husband who loves me the way I want

Finding a soulmate who not only hears but also plays your rhythm can feel like a miracle.

Photo credit: Shutterstock

Finding a soulmate who not only hears but also plays your rhythm can feel like a miracle.

As Saturday Magazine put together heartfelt letters women wrote to their husbands – men whose love echoes the melody of their deepest desires – she was reminded of the profound peace that comes from being cherished just as you are.

This is a celebration of a rare, perfect alignment where every glance, every touch, and every word creates a richer, more vibrant song.

Jane Cofele

Jane Cofele who has been married for three years.

Photo credit: Pool

Jane: You know how to make me relaxed

Dear love,

I knew you were the one for me after a few run-ins in church events. Though initially we did not speak much, I felt this unexplainable peace and calmness in my heart when around you.

Also, your attention to my mannerisms and sweet soprano which became the agenda for our next chitchat made me rubber stamp that you were the one for me.

For me, love has always been a matter of principle, honesty, genuine affection, and deliberate respect for each other’s welfare. So, from the onset babe, you made these signs very clear to me. How I feel about myself was/and is still a concern in your life, and you communicate/affirm me lovingly and openly.

Babe, I remember how you would push me to start my first bag business which now has taken shape. You were very particular about my branding and marketing. You would even escort me to do some of my deliveries and show that you want the best for me. Now that we have become parents, I still see how you pursue me for random dates amidst our busy schedule and that makes my days.

During and after the birth of our children, I felt the magnitude of your love for me. When I was in labour you were always by my side. You rubbed my back like there was no other work left for him on this earth. In my eyes, I saw a loving man so determined to relieve me of my pain.

After getting our first son, the postpartum period was particularly heavy on me. I sometimes felt aloof and overwhelmed with the new experience of motherhood. But babe you still chose to help around and even come home quite early to spend time with me/us even though I was not at my best for you. Every time I recall this, I am drawn to remember how you love me unconditionally, and I will always love you more.

Now, the random calls and walks we take with our sons; mean the whole world to me as they not only offer a family moment but also enable us to spend some quality time with you. My greatest indicators of your love. Oh, not to mention the random road trips that you sneak in just for fun because you know that leisure drives are another love language that I fluently speak.

As the space runs out, I want to appreciate how you have held us together even when storms of life tend to capsize our boat. You remember the time when our video production business was robbed and we lost everything including our clients’ footage and equipment? This was our lowest point as we had lost one pivotal aspect of our livelihood, but we managed to pull through. What stood out for me was how this adversity brought us even closer to each other and we were able to bounce back bigger and better.

Even now, when business or work is not going as expected, babe you know how to calm me down. Your long gentle hugs have a way of resetting me back to normalcy. I love you so much!

Signed by your wife, Jane Cofele, 30 (businesswoman)


Photo credit: Shutterstock

Loice: I love your attentiveness and how you remember all the key dates

Dear love,

I want you to know that the eight years we were friends before we tied the knot was the foundation that formed our marriage.

You understand that I am a very simple and realistic person and have gravitated your love for me through simple actions like going for walks, staying at home, and having talks about our now and future.

Though this realisation came with time, I vividly recall how we did not have power and that long night we giggled and laughed about our past plus had solid conversations without being distracted by our phones or the television.

Your attentive listening and the way you genuinely engage when I speak and recall every detail have always been a reminder of your love for me. You help out with the chores, especially on those days when I’m tired or come home late, has truly been the cherry on top.

And need I mention how you always remember our important dates, like anniversaries and birthdays? Random foot rubs, cooking some yummy food for us? Babe, these actions have led me to be a better wife, respectful, and also one who knows how to love and value you better.

You have always ensured that I feel loved all the time. You affirm me and say positive words about my life and my favourite charm is when you pray for me daily before going to work.

Oh, don’t I love the sweet notes you leave around the house and the messages that you send me? These, and being my greatest cheerleader, go a long way.

Compromising with each other has been another demonstration of our love and respect for each other. My most challenging moments arise when I need to communicate respectfully to you on matters even though I’m disappointed, dissatisfied, or even not happy with you. But it is for this reason that in our relationship we threw selfishness out the window.

Before we shortened the distance gap in our relationship, we would be caught up in a lot – either work or social life – but in the midst of it all, we never gave up on each other. The calls, chats, and surprise visits were a testament that love can withstand all things as long as both parties are in it together.

Though sometimes love can be overbearing and they say that for a healthy balance, personal space is a reality and a reflection in our marriage. When we give each other space, I self-reflect, enjoy my personal time, and appreciate myself because you can never give from an empty cup. I have found that after such moments, we experience less friction and that avoiding that feeling of suffocation.

You see when I “chase” you out of the house to go to the garage or barber, it’s because I just want you out of the house so that I can have my much-needed/deserved “me-time”. Afterwards, I find that I’m in a better position to converse, and have a new perspective and view of things. I also get recharged and motivated to be the best version of myself hence creating that positive impact in our relationship.

Signed by your wife, Loice Musyimi, 29


Terry: It’s the sacrifices you make for me

Dear hubby,

I’m forever grateful for the gift of the best husband. From how you say a prayer for me even during arguments to helping out around the house...love, it’s like falling in love all over again.

I had always wanted to be loved just as I am with all I have and you ticked that box very easily. A moment that has been etched in my mind is when we disagreed because I felt as though you were not understanding me.

That day you left home and came after two hours carrying a big bag which was so full of gifts. At first, I thought you were pranking me but, in my uncertainty, you hugged me and even said a prayer. That became proof that you are empathetic towards me.

They say it is the little things that make the biggest difference and, babe, how you offer to do the dishes, fold laundry, and dash to the supermarket truly enchants me. I know these tasks might seem ordinary, but it is in their simplicity that I find the profound beauty of your love, turning everyday moments into acts of tender care that fill my heart completely.

I remember there was a day I did not know that I needed a hand with making dinner and folding clothes but you showed up from work and told me to take a two-hour nap then come continue. When I woke up, to my surprise you had done everything. This had a profound impact on how loved and understood I felt.

The beauty of love lies in compromises and I love how, in our marriage, it is almost simultaneous. Not that there is a record of what each other compromises on, but I find it is a quid pro quo sort of scenario.

You know that “chapati” could practically be your middle name, haha! It’s one dish I don’t particularly care for, but I love making them for you.

Should we open the jar to watch football? It’s another one of your favourites, not exactly my cup of tea, but I enjoy it because it’s with you, babe.

Subtle as it gets, I have come to appreciate that you do understand what I need, even without me verbalising it. Case in point is when you were quite busy at work and had even travelled but you travelled over the night, arrived at 3am, took a shower and we left. By 4am we had arrived at the home of one of my clients, who was the bride of the day. That was a huge sacrifice for me.

You have ingrained in me the value of being there for each other and carrying each other’s burdens like it is your own. This you have cultivated through the numerous times you have helped me organise my makeup products ready for application or even taken photos that will help me bag more clients under “proof of work”. You always know that at that moment I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed and you readily support me.

Signed by your wife Terry Muthoni, 26 (makeup artist)